Memphis you know...

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND . . .

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I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud.

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These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district.

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Spellings have been left intact..

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1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him..
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2... Please exkuce Lisa for being absent She was sick and I had her shot.
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3... Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
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4... Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
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5. Please excuse Roland from p.e. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
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6... Joh n has been absent because he Had two teeth taken out of his face.
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7... Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
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8... Megan could not come to school today because she has beenÂ
Bothered by very close veins.
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9... Chris will not be in school Cus he has an acre in his side.
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10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
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11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.
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12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea,Â
And his boots leak...
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13. Irving was absent yesterday Because he missed his bust.
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14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
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15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
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16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.
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17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
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18. My daughter was absent yesterday! because she was tired. She spent a Weekend with the marines..
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19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
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20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
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21. Gloria was absent yesterday As she was having a gangover.
&! nbsp;
22. Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
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23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
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NOWÂ we know why parents are screaming for better educationÂ
For our kids.

Too funny

yup, what him say'd